Two Pair of Glasses

There was a man (it could’ve been a woman), named Specs, who had two pair of glasses. One of them was old and distorted with a strong smell of decay or worse. The second pair were new and shiny with absolute clarity. Every day Specs had a choice of which pair that he wore.

When he put on the old pair, the world took on a unique, ugly perspective. It was filled with fear, anger, sadness and despair. The people on the other side of the lenses were most often mean, cruel and uncaring. Through these lenses, the world was a scary place, and the view was mostly gray.

And an odd thing occurred when she wore these glasses; everything bad that happened was the fault of someone else..

The old glasses did have some very positive powers. They were as comfortable as an old habit. The glasses made almost everything predictable. Bad situations would essentially always become worse. All beliefs about the viewer and the viewed were proven accurate. As a result, all emotions and actions taken could be justified. And best of all, the person wearing the glasses was always right, and everyone else was always wrong!

The new glasses, though, were very uncomfortable. They had been gotten on the advice of a wise friend who managed to stay connected in spite of the unkind behavior of the old glasses wearer. The wise friend had simply said, “ You might enjoy a better view with a new pair of glasses.” Specs’ initial response wasn’t exactly, “Bah, Humbug!”, but it was very close. It was really only in a fit of desperation that the woman (it could’ve been a man) got and filled the new prescription.

The new glasses were clear and sharp. In addition, they had a very positive perspective. The people, on the other side of the lenses, were all unique and human. The world was a place for exploration and discovery. When Specs wore these glasses, he experienced both freedom and responsibility. Over time, it became difficult to distinguish between the two.

The new glasses allowed room for all feelings, both positive and negative. They did not embellish or distort; however, these glasses had a marvelous tendency to also notice excitement, appreciation and joy! There was almost always a view towards either making things better or making the best out of things.

The old friend would always notice which glasses Specs was wearing. Sometimes the friend would comment, “Oh, I see you’re wearing your old glasses.” or, “You look nice in your new glasses!” Often, being very wise, the friend would ask a question instead, “How are things looking today?” “What’s going on in your world?” or simply, “How are you?”

As you might imagine, the responses to these comments and questions were always colored by the lenses of the wearer.

When looking through old lenses, the answers were always negative, defensive and mean-spirited. “As if you care!’ “Why don’t you mind your own business?” or “Life sucks and then you die!” “Bah, Humbug!!

When looking through the new lenses, the answers were mostly positive, open and thoughtful. “Thank you for noticing!” “You are kind!” “It’s a beautiful day!” “I am blessed beyond belief!”

One day, while the old friend was sitting on a park bench, Specs walked by not wearing any glasses. The old friend said, “Hello, where are your glasses?” She sat down and said, “I’m having a really difficult day.”

Old Friend: “Tell me about it?”
Specs: “I don’t know which pair of glasses to wear?”
Old Friend: “How do you usually decide?”
Specs: “I don’t know. I guess I just pick up the first one I touch.”
Old Friend: “How is today different?”
Specs: “I’m not sure. I woke up remembering part of a dream. It confused me!”
Old Friend: “What do you remember about your dream?”
Specs: “I was flipping a coin — an old-fashioned silver dollar. The way the coin landed seemed to decide the outcome of the rest of my life. Somewhere in the middle of the dream, it seemed like I could control how the coin would land. When I woke up, I was confused and left the house without my glasses.”
Old Friend: “How were you confused?”
Specs: “I didn’t know which pair of glasses to choose.”
Old Friend: “What do you think the dream meant?”
Specs “I’m not sure; maybe that I have a choice in things? What do you think?”
Old Friend: “I like choice. If you did have choice, what difference would that make?”
Specs: “I’m not sure, maybe that I would have more control of things.”
Old Friend: “What kind of things?”
Specs: “I’m not sure, maybe my thoughts and feelings and how I lived my life.”
Old Friend: “What do you think of that?”
Specs: “It seems pretty cool but what if I’m wrong?”
Old Friend: “Wrong? Wrong about what?”
Specs: “That I have a choice. I don’t believe that I have a choice about everything. My mother died of intestinal cancer. She didn’t have a choice about getting cancer, did she?”
Old Friend: “No, probably not. What choice did she have?”
Specs: “I’m not sure, maybe how she dealt with it?”
Old Friend: “Are you saying, maybe we only have choice over how we deal with the things that happen in life?’
Specs: “Maybe, I’m not sure. What about thoughts?
Old Friend: “What about thoughts?’
Specs: “Every day I have thousands of thoughts that just show up. I don’t think that I have much choice or control over those?”
Old Friend: “That’s the age old question, isn’t it? What choice or control do we have over thoughts. The Buddhist call it the ‘Monkey Mind’. Do you know what they practice?”
Specs: “I’m not sure. Maybe it’s meditating? I think that you watch your thoughts and then let them go. Is that it?”
Old Friend: “That’s close enough. What do you think of that idea?”
Specs: “It seems that may be a way to have choice about thoughts?”
Old Friend: “It seems as though you like the idea of having choice over your thoughts, emotions and actions?” What difference might that make?”
Specs: “Maybe. Maybe how I choose makes a difference in what happens in life.” Like what glasses I put on in the morning changes how I behave, and how I behave impacts everything else and that changes what happens. Is that stupid?”
Old Friend: “I suppose it depends on what glasses you’re wearing. How are you doing without glasses?”
Specs“OK, I guess. It’s just that I’m a little near-sighted and can’t always see things as clearly as I would like.”
Old Friend: “I get it. So now what?”
Specs: “I guess I’ll have to learn to decide which glasses to wear.”
Old Friend: “How will you learn to decide?”
Specs: “I’m not sure. To start, maybe if I named my glasses, like the coin I flipped in my dream, it was ‘Heads’ or ‘Tails’.”
Old Friend: “What will you name them?”
Specs: “My old glasses seem to always leave me hopeless, helpless and powerless. Maybe I’ll call them ‘Victim’.”
Old Friend: “And the new one’s?”
Specs: “When I put them on, I feel more powerful, positive and in charge! Maybe I’ll call them ‘Empowered’.”
Old Friend: “How will you decide which pair to wear?”
Specs: “I probably need to study more about the advantages and disadvantages between Victim and Empowerment. Can you help me?”
Old Friend: “I think so. Let’s give it a try and see how it goes.”

Tips on how to Meet another Girl

Traveling to a international country can be an expensive proposition, but not each and every one foreign ladies want thus far a foreign person. Although many possess similar cultural values, the way that they can communicate and act is normally different. Here are some tips for reaching a foreign girl. Listed below are among the best ways to methodology a foreign young lady and make her feel comfortable. These are a few tips that may help you get started. Ideally, this post has been within your search to get a foreign person.

Get yourself interesting approach. Foreign ladies hate it the moment guys have got gloomy people. Keep up with current events and music styles and read modern books to further improve your knowledge foundation. Avoid mumbling, and speak clearly and slowly. Your voice is additionally important, therefore be sure to speak half a color lower than ordinary. This will build the desired result. You might also godatenow com want to purchase a mic or recorders. The more you practice, the better your results will probably be.

If you think a connection with a foreign female, try conference her on-line. Dating online allows you to connect with thousands of girls. The downside of online dating, yet , is the insufficient personal get in touch with. Although you may look nervous initially, this simplicity of communication pays off eventually. And click to investigate as for appointment foreign women in person, the freedom to meet others will give you the edge you may need. You can meet up with a foreign female online through dating sites and apps.

RELATIONSHIP PRACTICE – From PeopleWorks – “Strategic Relationship Culture”

Practice Being Nice – Being Nice requires Empathy

Practice Being Empathetic – Empathy requires Non-Judgement

Practice Being Non-Judgmental – Being Non-Judgmental requires Gratitude

Practice Being Grateful – Being Grateful requires Thoughtfulness

Practice Being Thoughtful – Being Thoughtful requires Listening (inside and Outside)

Practice Listening – Listening requires Patience

Practice Being Patient – Being Patient requires Being Quiet

Practice Being Quiet

Discover Love!




What I Gave, What I Got, and What I Appreciate – A Guide to a Better Meeting

While technology moves at or near the speed of light, the human condition is not so fast and is still ruled by tribal patterning found in our DNA. In spite of our ability to be instantly connected to anyone, anywhere, any time — our tribal needs still prevail and this perhaps is seen most clearly in how we gather as a community. These instincts are both primal and tribal. We still feel the need to sit around the lodge fire and share our stories, adventures and experiences. These acts of sharing are patterned on common tribal patterns.

The power of the Vistage experience is predicated on the tribal need of its members to come together in face-to-face time and place or in meetings. All meetings contain some basic rituals: opening, middle and end. The more that these rituals are developed and nurtured, the better the tribe is able to communicate, share and support one another.

In many Vistage groups, a common opening ritual is a review of “significant events” or a flip chart sign-in. Middle rituals often include guest speakers, key performance indicator reviews, executive sessions and more. However, less developed and equally important, are closing rituals.

To anchor a good meeting and make it memorable in the minds of members a good closing ritual is important. Here is one example:

During the last 10-15 minutes of the meeting, have each of the members talk about three things: What I Gave, What I Got, and What I Appreciate. Here are some additional thoughts about each category.

What I Gave
Vistage is not a spectator sport. When we ask our members to declare what they have given, it anchors for them an expectation of contribution to all of the other members. It is often the most difficult question to answer. Chairs should encourage their members to dig deeper than surface answers like, “My attendance”, “I participated” or “I gave a few opinions” Contribution to other members and the group is at the heart of the Vistage process.

What I Got
This anchors take home value. It is a way to verbalize the value of the time a member spends at the meeting. Again, a Chairs encouragement of deeper level reflections adds to the value of this piece. Instead of, “I got some good ideas”, the Chair may initially help the member by asking the group, “What did you see that John got out of today’s meeting”? (As with all new activities, it is important for the Chair to role model, give examples, encourage and support. Later, the group will start to help and encourage one another on their own.

What I Appreciate
What gets appreciated also gets anchored in repetition. Calling attention to the positive experiences of members invites them to focus on creating those experiences for the future. This part of the ritual is best left as an “in the moment” experience without comment or coaching.

When Give, Gave and Appreciate are put together, they form a powerful closing ritual. This and other strong closing rituals help to anchor a meeting experience and may in turn help to develop longer, stronger membership retention. Experiment with this and enjoy creating or adapting your own style. Remember, it’s part of your tribal patterning.


On Saturday October 1st, Vistage Chair, Speaker and Human Capital Facilitator, Jean Maxwell, was in San Diego presenting to Rosemary Paetow’s Vistage CE3046 Group Retreat. Jean’s topic was, “Journey…getting back to you”. This presentation is based on the journaling process and the book of the same name authored by Jean in 2008. You may learn more about the journal and process at:

After the video and a short discussion, one of the CEO’s said, “I get the idea about being in and out of balance; it’s a normal part of life. I’m a bottom-line kind of guy, so what?” Jean asked how many of the CEO’s in the room had a similar experience/attitude. A significant number raised their hands.

At that point, Jean drew a standard organizational chart (CEO, five direct reports, multiple reports to those, etc.) Then he turned the chart upside down and asked the following questions:

1.    What happens in your company when you get out of balance?

2.    What are the bottom-line implications?

3.    How about if it’s one of your direct report?

From the discussion that followed, the negative implications and consequences were immediately apparent. The balancing power of the journaling process became a much different proposition for these bottom-line CEO’s. What do you learn when you turn your org chart upside down?

During the presentation, Jean used the following YouTube video to demonstrate getting in and out of balance with oneself.